Beware the Irks of Shanghai

Before I head back to the UK, I want to make a note of some of the things that I am not going miss in this awesome city. Many of the complaints I have about Shanghai are not apparent during a stopover, a short stay or even a prolonged visit. Like any city, the longer you stay somewhere the more you get to know about its positives and negatives. As my attachment to this megacity grows I don't feel so bad about commenting on some of the Shanghai-isms that I have to to bear witness to everyday.

Firstly. Man bags. If you have spent any time in NE Asia it become commonplace to see a man, outwardly masculine in both strut and attire, to be laden with a flimsy purse/handbag adorned in gold, with an equally pathetic looking chain slung over his shoulder. Oh...don't worry, I'm assured that this is simply a gesture of chivalry as the pounding weight of the high yield lady sack is simply intolerable once outside the glitzy shopping malls. However seeing this scenario, due to its frequency, has become rather banal. What I find annoying is men who have saggy, leathery handbags of their own, through their own choice, because they think it's great. I have been in Shanghai for several months and I am thus unaware if this is an emerging global trend. However, in Shanghai, briefcases have mated with XL Mulberry bags and the offspring has found its way into many men's hands and arms. A man who has so much apparatus as to require 7+ hand stitched and inconveniently sized silk lined pockets, all contained within a droopy leather satchel with a buckle clasp really needs to reassess his life.

Secondly. Dog clothing. Living in Shanghai, as with most major cities, is often associated with small dwellings and a lack of personal space. Cramped living conditions do not, however, stop many from buying the hideous shrunken poodles that I see everywhere. For me, I think it would be best not to bring a pet into some of the smallest homes that I have seen here because it can't be healthy for the dog or the owner. Alas, these concerns do not cross the minds of the many owners of these squished faced ice cream heads, who seem content to wedge them under their arms. However, what is most worrying is the ridicule these dog owners put their canine cohabitants through by dressing them in the most absurd outfits not even fit for 19th century circus performers. I've seen a poodle ballerina and a chihuahua Kobe Bryant, decked out from head to toe including little mini sneakers. I mean really? Not only is it surely not comfortable for the dogs but I'm sure it doesn't help with their mental health either. An example being the phantom crap kicking syndrome that all Shanghai dogs have developed, a habit by which they scoot around shuffling and flicking violently the pavement in an attempt to cover their non existent droppings.

Thirdly. People who whine ON and ON. Therefor I will end this little rant at that...two things that annoy me in Shanghai. Not bad really when you consider everything this place has to offer. I think it comes as part and parcel of being in a different environment and if you travel a lot it is always easy to develop the 'grass is greener' mentality. How dull a place would be if it didn't have the absurd and annoying elements. Anyways I'm off to the UK where after savoring the air quality for a couple of minutes, I may be forced to make a post on why there is only one person working at the bus ticketing office and why builders insist of not doing anything whilst all the time displaying their freckled bum cracks whilst nursing a hard earned cuppa.

Fame

I recently had the pleasure of going to a birthday party that was hosted at a KTV bar here in Shanghai. Karaoke has never been something that has appealed to me, at all. However in the hopes of it being centered more around meeting people and having an environment where you can enjoy music but still talk etc. I thought it would definitely be worth checking out. After wondering the streets surrounding Xin Tian Di trying to figure out where this place was, me and a friend decided to ask in other shops where we could find it. After being told that there was in fact not a single KTV bar in the area, and getting rather frustrated, another lady in the frozen yogurt bar popped out and told us..."..oh there isn't one here except for the one over there at the mall on the 3rd floor". Cheers. So headed to the mall with my mouth getting slightly cottony with the realization of the horror that could await us. I pictured walking in, seeing nobody I knew, cringing it with an over priced beer and then being herded into a circle to await my turn to have a crack at Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River'. After finally finding the place, we went to the reception and confirmed we were here for the party and were lead to the room. To say the way the bar was laid out was confusing would be a massive understatement. It was like being thrown down a gold and mirror lined badger den and all the while having lasers shone at your face. The decor is how I imagine Saddam Hussein might have decked out his sons playhouses before they got the taste for dynamite fishing and golden AK-47s. But hey! At least the other rooms that had people in them seemed to be having a laugh. Our escort finally announced we had reached our destination and we were lead into the room.

As we walked in it was just as I had imagined it would be. As it was early, by Shanghai standards, many people had yet to arrive and the place had only been hired for a short while due to the extortionate hourly rate. We were greeted by the birthday girl who it was a pleasure to see but after that it was the round of introductions to people who's names, due to the pumping Akon tune, sounded like nothing more then a muffled "mmmMMmpppff". I was then given the option of how much money to shell out for my experience, kind of like what happens after you've had the condescending monologue from a chirpy Amnesty International bibbed uni graduate on Oxford Street. I proceeded to donate a hefty sum that seemed to be the standard and then went to track down a drink. At this point I realized there was an option of whiskey and green tea blend or errrmmmm well thats it sorry mate. OK so now I sit down with the one person I know there and we proceed to take in the atmosphere which is a mix of shattered expectations and pure awkwardness. Having made a few song selections on the wall mounted (I must admit rather high-tech) computer I sat back down on the sofa with my drink, which I had stuffed full of ice in attempt dampen the bitter enrobing. It was then I was forced to watch some shoddy music videos shot in the early 90s that had no relevance to the song playing at all. I recall one of them was a woman with the most matted perm I have ever seen leaping over logs on a beach and stroking a tree trunk with a leaf she had ripped so indelicately from one of its branches. I couldn't take anymore, and as soon as the time was right, my friend and I scattered. 

You always hear people tell you not to knock things until you try them, so if all I get out of tonight is the ability to tell people how rubbish KTV is with a slightly more authoritative voice then it was worth it. All I can say is hopefully I don't have to pay so much next time I'd like to be able to gain argumentative credibility. 

Yes Egypt Yes!

Everyone's been following, to varying degrees, the events taking place in Egypt over the past couple of weeks and  I'm pretty sure everyone has been supporting the protesters in their mission to get rid of the despot that has held power for roughly 30 years. Mubarak was 'supported' by the western governments as a stabilizing influence in a volatile region. However, the force that has removed the regime could prove to be the most beneficial in the long term. Despite the immediate uncertainties (e.g. was this a military coup behind the scenes?), this seems at the moment to be a historic moment. Speaking auspiciously, what has happened in Egypt could be a catalyst for a demand for greater representation across the Middle East.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/politicalcartoons/ig/Egypt-Cartoons/Liberty-Syphnx.htm

There are concerns that this could lead the way for fanatic Islam gaining a strong foothold which would not only force Egypt into the Dark Ages but could have further ramifications on an international level (terrorism, energy etc.) However, based on what I've seen, it looks like the people in the streets of Cairo were a cross section of society as opposed to religious fanatics. And judging from what the people were demanding (freedom, justice and opportunity), I can hardly see them turning to religious extremism which can offer them none of these. So all in all I think this is a very exciting period, and I am proud of the Egyptian people that have managed to pull off something amazing. I'm hoping that this is just the beginning of a transition into a system in which the Egyptian people feel a part of as opposed to an oppressive regime they feel chained to.

Friday Night Movies

I've never been too fussed about when I head out...but if you're working a 9-5, the weekends are pretty much the only time you can get out and do what you want until whatever time you want. However, I have recently discovered another reason why getting out the house is essential on a Friday night; TV programming. It may be because all the actual people are out of the studio enjoying the night, but the fact remains that if you're after a night of inevitably amateurish camera work and catching a glimpse of famous action stars before they were bloated and leather skinned, Friday night won't let you down. Flicking through the channels left me with the choice of what I'm sure was an episode from the 'Jaws' infinity-drama (based on the resemblance of the sea creature to a foamy WWII midget submarine with wings and its lust for attacking boats with a cavernous slack jawed mouth), or what appears to be a film filmed entirely in a smoky, wood laminated 70s kitchen. An occasional non-expression extra floating in through the greasy swathe of dangling beads separating said kitchen from a dining room doesn't stop my ADHD remote control fiddling. Oh I'm sorry there was also an episode of Top Chef Season I-Don't-Give-a-Crap with some chicken wing head droning on about his passion for cumin infused couscous. Quick glimpse of the phone, no messages, 12:34 PM. Great. Let's watch another montage of CSI fused with the Good Wife and debate what man whale has lost the most weight dragging tractor tires on The Biggest Loser.

2011 - Year of the Pricey Rabbit

Chinese cuisine involves a great deal of meat, despite the myriad of vegetarian options, you're going to find a bit of zhu/niu/ji rou in almost everything. Praise has to be given to the exemplary standard set with regards reducing waste by using almost all parts of the animal. From congealed blood cubes to add flavour to soup, to dried chicken intestine from the local Buddies corner shop there seems to be a taste out there for everyone.  

However, China's increasing affluence, coupled with increasingly western culinary inclinations (e.g. delightfully flavoursome McDonalds, KFC and Papa Johns), is in part helping drive up staple food prices. This year began with the impact of rising food prices in some of the most susceptible regions on earth contributing to unrest that has even been linked to the pro-democracy movements in Egypt and Tunisia. As I write this there are protests and riots in Algeria and wheat prices have hit an all time high in the UK. The difference between this potential crisis (especially for the poor) is the pressure from both the supply side and the rapidly expanding demand.


http://dearkitty.blogsome.com/2009/04/25/

Biofuels, population growth and higher standards of living are driving the demand side of the equation and soil erosion, water shortages, plateauing yields and less then perfect weather conditions (to put it lightly) are some of the factors limiting supply. With regards population growth, thankfully it seems to have peaked but that does not change the fact that 80 million people are added to this planet every year. However what is more pressing in the near term is the 3 billion people (mainly in China and India) that are working their way up the socio-economic ladder. This is increasing substantially the demand for grain to feed livestock not only to consume but to produce eggs, milk etc. The experiment in biofuels has proved to be fairly futile and in fact harmful as it not only reduces the amount of land dedicated to food production but has stimulated further deforestation in tropical regions to provide palm oil as a replacement for diesel.

Of course, the impact of this is further soil erosion, misguided relocation of water etc. which in turn add to the causes of the lack of food supply. As usual the people most affected by these circumstances are the poorest and the ones that suffer at the local level. However in an increasingly integrated world, some effect takes place everywhere. To wait for the 'invisible' hand to cause prices to reach such a point that producers switch back to producing food is inhumane.

Of course it is not all doom and gloom, most of what I have read has not taken into account the potential of the much debated genetically modified foods and other technologies yet to be developed. These could very well be not only an option in the future but perhaps a necessity as climate induced difficulties are here to stay, especially whilst those in positions of great influence continue to believe that climate change is a vast leftist conspiracy to serve nothing but the radical purpose of....hmmmmm not quite sure.

Intro

Hello Everybody, Somebody and right now precisely NOBODY. I'm new to the blogging thing and promise not to bore you too much with trivial daily reflections about my mood and desires. Instead this is mainly an attempt at keeping a record of my time here in Shanghai and China as a whole. A place that offers so much to all the senses  is definitely worthy of cogitation, especially as my ability to remember specific moments of interest is fading like a burning incense stick doused in kerosene. Hopefully anyone with an interest in China and/or thinking about the daily ins and outs of a place that is currently the focus of a great deal of international attention, both in the media and by our governments, can get an insight into life in one of the world's greatest and most exciting cities.