Fame

I recently had the pleasure of going to a birthday party that was hosted at a KTV bar here in Shanghai. Karaoke has never been something that has appealed to me, at all. However in the hopes of it being centered more around meeting people and having an environment where you can enjoy music but still talk etc. I thought it would definitely be worth checking out. After wondering the streets surrounding Xin Tian Di trying to figure out where this place was, me and a friend decided to ask in other shops where we could find it. After being told that there was in fact not a single KTV bar in the area, and getting rather frustrated, another lady in the frozen yogurt bar popped out and told us..."..oh there isn't one here except for the one over there at the mall on the 3rd floor". Cheers. So headed to the mall with my mouth getting slightly cottony with the realization of the horror that could await us. I pictured walking in, seeing nobody I knew, cringing it with an over priced beer and then being herded into a circle to await my turn to have a crack at Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River'. After finally finding the place, we went to the reception and confirmed we were here for the party and were lead to the room. To say the way the bar was laid out was confusing would be a massive understatement. It was like being thrown down a gold and mirror lined badger den and all the while having lasers shone at your face. The decor is how I imagine Saddam Hussein might have decked out his sons playhouses before they got the taste for dynamite fishing and golden AK-47s. But hey! At least the other rooms that had people in them seemed to be having a laugh. Our escort finally announced we had reached our destination and we were lead into the room.

As we walked in it was just as I had imagined it would be. As it was early, by Shanghai standards, many people had yet to arrive and the place had only been hired for a short while due to the extortionate hourly rate. We were greeted by the birthday girl who it was a pleasure to see but after that it was the round of introductions to people who's names, due to the pumping Akon tune, sounded like nothing more then a muffled "mmmMMmpppff". I was then given the option of how much money to shell out for my experience, kind of like what happens after you've had the condescending monologue from a chirpy Amnesty International bibbed uni graduate on Oxford Street. I proceeded to donate a hefty sum that seemed to be the standard and then went to track down a drink. At this point I realized there was an option of whiskey and green tea blend or errrmmmm well thats it sorry mate. OK so now I sit down with the one person I know there and we proceed to take in the atmosphere which is a mix of shattered expectations and pure awkwardness. Having made a few song selections on the wall mounted (I must admit rather high-tech) computer I sat back down on the sofa with my drink, which I had stuffed full of ice in attempt dampen the bitter enrobing. It was then I was forced to watch some shoddy music videos shot in the early 90s that had no relevance to the song playing at all. I recall one of them was a woman with the most matted perm I have ever seen leaping over logs on a beach and stroking a tree trunk with a leaf she had ripped so indelicately from one of its branches. I couldn't take anymore, and as soon as the time was right, my friend and I scattered. 

You always hear people tell you not to knock things until you try them, so if all I get out of tonight is the ability to tell people how rubbish KTV is with a slightly more authoritative voice then it was worth it. All I can say is hopefully I don't have to pay so much next time I'd like to be able to gain argumentative credibility.