Before I head back to the UK, I want to make a note of some of the things that I am not going miss in this awesome city. Many of the complaints I have about Shanghai are not apparent during a stopover, a short stay or even a prolonged visit. Like any city, the longer you stay somewhere the more you get to know about its positives and negatives. As my attachment to this megacity grows I don't feel so bad about commenting on some of the Shanghai-isms that I have to to bear witness to everyday.
Firstly. Man bags. If you have spent any time in NE Asia it become commonplace to see a man, outwardly masculine in both strut and attire, to be laden with a flimsy purse/handbag adorned in gold, with an equally pathetic looking chain slung over his shoulder. Oh...don't worry, I'm assured that this is simply a gesture of chivalry as the pounding weight of the high yield lady sack is simply intolerable once outside the glitzy shopping malls. However seeing this scenario, due to its frequency, has become rather banal. What I find annoying is men who have saggy, leathery handbags of their own, through their own choice, because they think it's great. I have been in Shanghai for several months and I am thus unaware if this is an emerging global trend. However, in Shanghai, briefcases have mated with XL Mulberry bags and the offspring has found its way into many men's hands and arms. A man who has so much apparatus as to require 7+ hand stitched and inconveniently sized silk lined pockets, all contained within a droopy leather satchel with a buckle clasp really needs to reassess his life.
Secondly. Dog clothing. Living in Shanghai, as with most major cities, is often associated with small dwellings and a lack of personal space. Cramped living conditions do not, however, stop many from buying the hideous shrunken poodles that I see everywhere. For me, I think it would be best not to bring a pet into some of the smallest homes that I have seen here because it can't be healthy for the dog or the owner. Alas, these concerns do not cross the minds of the many owners of these squished faced ice cream heads, who seem content to wedge them under their arms. However, what is most worrying is the ridicule these dog owners put their canine cohabitants through by dressing them in the most absurd outfits not even fit for 19th century circus performers. I've seen a poodle ballerina and a chihuahua Kobe Bryant, decked out from head to toe including little mini sneakers. I mean really? Not only is it surely not comfortable for the dogs but I'm sure it doesn't help with their mental health either. An example being the phantom crap kicking syndrome that all Shanghai dogs have developed, a habit by which they scoot around shuffling and flicking violently the pavement in an attempt to cover their non existent droppings.
Thirdly. People who whine ON and ON. Therefor I will end this little rant at that...two things that annoy me in Shanghai. Not bad really when you consider everything this place has to offer. I think it comes as part and parcel of being in a different environment and if you travel a lot it is always easy to develop the 'grass is greener' mentality. How dull a place would be if it didn't have the absurd and annoying elements. Anyways I'm off to the UK where after savoring the air quality for a couple of minutes, I may be forced to make a post on why there is only one person working at the bus ticketing office and why builders insist of not doing anything whilst all the time displaying their freckled bum cracks whilst nursing a hard earned cuppa.
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